I belong to another diocese halfway across the continent, but I come back to your blog every week. Thank you so much for your pastoral letter on homosexuality and marriage. I felt you were speaking directly to me when you acknowledged the dilemma experience by friends and family of homosexuals. I have a dear friend who will soon participate in a homosexual ‘union’ ceremony, and have struggled with how to tell him I cannot attend. I have fumbled for words to express my love for him, yet my regret over his choice. He was raised as a Catholic, and his lifestyle is causing so much pain in his family.

Thank you for clarifying so beautifully what it means to love the person while desiring that he turn away from his sin. Thank you for reaching out to all God’s people through this blog, and making yourself so available to us.

Long live Christ the King!

Well said.

Thank you for responding to me, GB.

“Deacon Bryan, I think I’d be very careful in taking it upon myself to decide when the Church that Jesus founded & furthermore gave to Peter the power to forgive & retain, ’sins’. To set yourself (no matter how enlightened) up as the judge of God is no small matter.”

GB, I’m not quite sure what you’re implying here but there are a few things I need to clear up. 1. Christ gave the apostles the power to forgive and retain sins, not just Peter. The Roman jurisdiction is not the only Church with that authority. 2. No where in my previous statements do I set myself up as a judge of God. I’m not quite sure how you were able to interpret that, but that was never something I stated either directly or indirectly. 3. Just because I disagree with the teaching of the Roman jurisdiction doesn’t make me a bad person. There are many other Catholic denominations (Independent Catholic, Episcipal, Old Catholic, Polish National Catholic) who disagree with Rome on theological and social issues. This is the reason for open dialogue — to undersand each other.

“As far as the issue of marriage goes, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a theologian) to look at how men & women are made & figure out what God intended.”

That you feel comfortable contradicting hundreds of thousands of medical and psychological professionals with such an insulting, ignorant statement only adds validity to the arguments of those in support of Church recognition for same-sex relationships.

Deacon Bryan Marabanian

Thank you, Ben, for engaging me in this dialogue. I have a few responses to your statements.

“if we…somehow suppress this “inclination”, we are guilty of defying God’s natural order and will.” No where in my statement do I claim to know God’s will. I will say, however, that the “Natural Law” was made and is “enforced” by imperfect human institutions and, as such, it is subject to human inquiry, questioning, and evolution.

“The Church does not condemn inclinications, urges, or temptations.” Neither do I. I do not suggest that any religious jurisdiction should be laissez faire on moral issues. What I am suggesting is that the issue of homosexuality is a non-issue. Any truly loving, committed relationship helps, in the eyes of my religious jurisdiction, people to become holy.

“Christ calls us to self-denial – he taught self-denial wherever he went – he showed us self-denial in his passion.” Since when did self-denial always equal celibacy?

“You say you are confused and surprised by Church teaching – which, guided by the Holy Spirit and preserved in Tradition and the Magesterium through Apostolic Succession, is in fact quite clear: sex outside of marriage is a sin. I don’t see what is confusing about that.” The sex outside of marriage statement, in and of itself, is not confusing, Ben. What I find not only confusing, but heretical, is the fact that the Church would deny a sacrament (marriage) to a loving, committed couple. To imply that the Holy Spirit has preserved Church teaching from error is incorrect…unless the world is still flat.

“You accuse the Church of being ‘divisive’, ‘mean-spirited’ and not being ‘inclusive’. I am one who has struggled with homosexuality all of my adult life and I have never been treated by the Church with anything but respect, kindness, and dignity.” If you were to take a survey of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered Catholics, you will find that the overwhelming majority do not share your experience.

“Christ calls me to chastity just as he calls all to this virtue. For some, this means a call to marital chastity. For others, it is a call to celibacy. Neither way is free from difficulty or trial. ” Just because Christ calls you to celibacy doesn’t mean he calls all homosexual people to celibacy. To place total faith in a teaching simply because the Bishops of the Roman Jurisdiction tell you to do so might be seen my many theological experts, especially those in Independent and Anglican Communions, as foolish. The fact is that there are many Churches within the Apostolic Succession who accept into the fold gay people and have helped them sustain not only a wonderful relationship with God and the Church but also with their spouse.

“For me, as for many, homosexuality is a cross – but just because Jesus calls us to deny ourselves, carry our cross, and follow him, does not mean that He does not love us. It just means that He is teaching us that this is the way we must follow Him.” Of course Christ loves you just as he loves all people. And, it is true that each of us has a cross (sometimes many) of our own. Most reputable Christian psychologists will agree, however, that homosexuality should not be considered a cross to bear but, rather, a natural path to holiness.

“You accuse the Church of being heretical and seem to claim in your third paragraph special insight into His very will.” I do accuse the Roman Jurisdiction of being heretical but do not claim any special insight into God’s will. What I do say is that it is not for me or anyone else to place human limits on God’s will. That, Ben, is entirely different.

“Even with my limited knowledge of history, something tells me that we’ve seen this movie before… You will excuse me if I choose to follow 2,000 years of Church teaching as opposed to your ‘independence’.” My goal is not to gain followers by posting to this site, Ben, but to engage in open dialogue about this issue with a Roman Bishop to gain more understanding and insight into the Roman jurisdiction’s teaching on this topic. While you would always be welcome at the table of my community regardless of your relationship status, I do not wish to engage in any form of “pew stealing”. Enough people are coming to my community on their own, I don’t need to be an active recruiter.

God bless you and those you love.

Deacon Bryan Marabanian

Regarding homosexuality, I won’t quarrel with you or the bishops on the substantive issues (though I’d like to), but I have to wonder why gay people are referred to in such alienating language: — “homosexual persons,” “persons with a homosexual inclination” — instead of “gay,” lesbian,” or just plain “homosexual.” Surely we Catholics don’t call ourselves “Catholic persons” or “persons with a Catholic inclination” — we’re just “Catholics”!

I know that the Church is reluctant to acknowledge that homosexuality is an essential attribute of a gay person’s true self, but the majority of gay people would disagree — and these are the very people you wish to reach out to! If you describe gay people in the same language they use to describe on one another, you might have a better chance of being listened to. I’m sure the bishops would never make the mistake of issuing a letter titled “Ministry to Negro Persons”!

As a parishiner of the Basilica of the Assumption, Baltimore, Maryland, it was our delightful pleasure to host you and many of your colleagues last week at the Bishops Mass. We hold our Basiliac with great affection and it was truly a joyous occasion re-opening it after two years of renovations. It is our pleasure to share this magnificent tribute to American Catholicism with our fellow Catholics from around the country and the world and we are delighted that you graced us with a visit. Thank you.

Finally, please accept my congratulations on this blog–a wonderful way in which to reach many more beyond the boundaries of the Archdiocese of Boston. The beauty of the Church is how it has adapted to its environment within the traditions of the faith. While many suburban parishes are overcrowded, I often hear my Protestant firends and family members lamenting about how few come to their services. Despite the many challenging issues we face–along with the constant barrage of criticism–one cannot argue with the longevity of the Church. Faddish religions and ‘enlightened’ individuals will cross our paths, but we will continue long into the future so long as we remain true to our faith and to its origins.

Sean P. Keller, KHS

I also think your letter was beautifully written and should be published in newspapers and read from all of the pulpits.

Many of the faithful have fallen away from the unchanging teachings of the church. We need you to come out publicly against sin and promote the traditional morals of the Catholic Faith, which you do, but it is not reaching all ears.

I would like to see you deliver a message here and there to the parishes in the Archdiocese as our priest don’t often speak openly about these difficult and sensitive issues. I’m sure it is not an easy thing to do, but You have a gift that enables you to do this well.

God bless you,

Deacon Bryan, I think I’d be very careful in taking it upon myself to decide when the Church that Jesus founded & furthermore gave to Peter the power to forgive & retain, ‘sins’. To set yourself (no matter how enlightened) up as the judge of God is no small matter.
As far as the issue of marriage goes, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a theologian) to look at how men & women are made & figure out what God intended. Perhaps that’s why the “Marriage Ammendment” keeps getting solidly defeated every time its put to a vote by the American people.

Thank you again for a beautiful entry. I find myself often in the company of people who do not have the highest view of the Church, or of religion in general. In a way I am thankful, because my discussions with them force me to be able to elucidate my beliefs and the teachings of the Church, and I hope some day I may possess half of the gift you have. One of the biggest points that comes up when discussing the notion of homosexual marriage is why should my relgious belief be enforced as a law? I struggle giving a well thought answer on this. What they basically say is that if the Church is opposed to gay marriage, then the Church shouldn’t marry gays, but let the state do what it wants, because a state marriage is not a religious marriage.

The truth is, while I usually mutter something about marriage being a social institution, I don’t really know how to respond to this. I was wondering if you could help shed some light on this? Thank you, and thank you for bringing such love and compassion to such difficult and challenging issues facing our society. God bless!

Pastor, you refer to “gender-make up”, “accidents of gender”, and “sexual orientation or identity” as if they automatically determine whether or not one engages in homosexual sex, whereby if we, in turn, somehow suppress this “inclination”, we are guilty of defying God’s natural order and will. The Church does not condemn inclinications, urges, or temptations. We all have urges of many different kinds. The question is – what do we do with them? Are we to give them full reign no matter what form they take? Do we sin against God if we deny ourselves some of our urges and inclinations? Christ calls us to self-denial – he taught self-denial wherever he went – he showed us self-denial in his passion.

You say you are confused and surprised by Church teaching – which, guided by the Holy Spirit and preserved in Tradition and the Magesterium through Apostolic Succession, is in fact quite clear: sex outside of marriage is a sin. I don’t see what is confusing about that.

You accuse the Church of being “divisive”, “mean-spirited” and not being “inclusive”. I am one who has struggled with homosexuality all of my adult life and I have never been treated by the Church with anything but respect, kindness, and dignity. Christ calls me to chastity just as he calls all to this virtue. For some, this means a call to marital chastity. For others, it is a call to celibacy. Neither way is free from difficulty or trial. For me, as for many, homosexuality is a cross – but just because Jesus calls us to deny ourselves, carry our cross, and follow him, does not mean that He does not love us. It just means that He is teaching us that this is the way we must follow Him.

You accuse the Church of being heretical and seem to claim in your third paragraph special insight into His very will. Even with my limited knowledge of history, something tells me that we’ve seen this movie before… You will excuse me if I choose to follow 2,000 years of Church teaching as opposed to your “independence”.

Ben

Thank you for your blog. I have one small point to make. Is it appropriate to speak of a homosexual “orientation”? Because the human person is fundamentally oriented toward the true, the good, and the beautiful, which is God, it seems incorrect to refer to an “orientation” toward something that is inherently disordered.

Having said that, I want to say what a pleasure it is to find a Cardinal who reaches out to the faithful the way you do. How refreshing!

In Jesus and Mary,

Andrew

Beautiful blog. The Catholic Church is so very rich. Our God is Love, but like any parent don’t you think there is a hell?

Your thoughts

Cindy

It’s so refreshing to know that you are a man who favors open dialogue regarding the issues that impact Catholics in the United States and around the world. Thank you for providing the faithful with this avenue to publicly ask questions. Its sad to say that the perception of most people is that the members of the Roman Catholic Church’s hierarchy do not favor dialogue but, rather, a “do what you’re told” mentality. This blog is proof that the perception of some is just that…perception.

I must say, however, that I am saddened by the Bishop’s adoption of the pastoral norms guidling care for people with homosexual inclinations. Moreover, I am troubled by Roman teaching regarding marriage.

To say that two people, who are made in the “image and likeness of God,” are not fully capable of loving each other in an acceptable way because of gender make-up seems, in my opinion, to be heretical. As an ordained minister of an Independent Catholic denomination I am surprised that an institution within the Apostolic Succession condones such divisive, mean-spirited views regarding this group of God’s people. I don’t believe it’s wise for any institution to place limits on God’s will.

I find the Roman Church’s teaching regarding marriage, and your own words on the topic, to be quite confusing. You stated in this blog that you have been encouraging Roman Catholics to “defend the institution of marriage”. Perhaps you can clarify how not allowing a loving couple to have their love blessed by the Church’s minister is defending the institution of marriage.

It is my understanding that for marriage to truly be defended and protected, it must be open and encouraged for all people regardless of sexual orientation or identity. For gay and lesbian couples to have truly loving, holy relationships, it is vital for them to receive the support of Church communities.

When the Church turns people away from the sacraments because of accidents of gender or sexual orientation, the Church sins. Perhaps this is why more and more Catholics are understanding that their faith can be celebrated outside of the Roman Church in inclusive, independent communities.

God bless you and your ministry.

Deacon Bryan Marabanian
Pastor, Holy Trinity Independent Catholic Church
Chicago, IL.

The Lord give you peace!

The Bishop’s conference has once again brought up the issue of celibacy. The priests I know that have shared their thoughts on the subject feel it’s a much bigger deal to the rest of us than it is to them. Likewise, the issue of marriage for priests. Do you find that many priests wish these changes would be made or is it really a bigger deal to everyone else?
Great pictures!
MHiggins

will ultimately be between him and God.

Oh for heaven’s sake, somebody stop me from talking! I will leave you for now dear brother. I would really like to speak with you again for there are other things I would like to share with you about my ….how shall I say it…..tangible encounter with our precious Lord. He has graced me with the knowledge of His existance in a way that words seem inadequate to describe and I can’t imagine why. For the longest time I asked, ” Why me? What do you want of me?” Then I stopped asking why and just said, ” Thank you Lord for this grace.” I will leave this for another time.
Blessings to you dear brother. I hope we will speak soon. May the Lord bless and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you……….
Joyfully in Jesus,
long winded Martha

Hi, wonderful pictures that you have placed in your blog recently. I was browsing through the pictures of the recently renovated Basilica of the National Shrine of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I happened to noticed the red and white umbrella beside the pulpit and wondering what is it, could your eminence perhaps explain the significance of the umbrella? I noticed the tassels on the coat of arms is red hence the Archbishop is a cardinal then. The pictures of the interior of the basilica is beautiful, nice paintings and treasures too. The “Archbishop’s Crypt” of the Basilica reminds me that of the late Archbishop Emeritus Dominic A. Vendargon, the first metropolitan of the Archdiocese of Kuala Lumpur who was buried in the cathedral itself as a fitting honour for him who was consecrated in the same cathedral that bears his cathedra. Do keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
alex lee
Archdiocese of Kuching, Malaysia.

Thanks too for the letter on marriage and homosexuality. It helps me to notice that the current “confusion” about teaching (that some of you bishops pointed out while debating the current document) is not just about sex or orientation, but about remembering the fundamental theological dignity of the person and our responsibility to each other as creatures of the one Father. Thanks so much for this ministry.

Thank you so much for your blog…I look forward to it every Friday evening.

I am a convert and love the Catholic Church. Jesus sent you to us in such a difficult time for the church and you have helped us all so much. Thank You, thank you, Jesus, for sending Cardinal Sean to us.

You are doing a wonderful job. I love the way you explain, via your blog, the weekly events, the history of the church, our Catechism and show us all those wonderful pictures.

Your writings are beautiful…I feel like I am sitting here talking with a friend.

Your friend, Susan

I read your letter concerning homosexuality when it first came out. As one who has struggled with homosexuality for years, I appreciated it very much. I came to the Church as a convert who was scared and confused. I went up to a priest in Concord, MA before mass (I didn’t even know what “mass” was at the time) and simply told him my name and asked him if I could have some time to talk to him. He said yes and asked me to call the rectory that day. When I met with him and told him of my struggles I half expected him to kick me out of the rectory. Instead he was kind and supportive. He explained to me Church teaching in regards to sexuality and the virtue of chastity that all are called to. I began reading the Catechism. and discovered a Church that accepted me for who I was while still asking me to “take up my cross” and follow Christ just as it asks of all humanity. I found a church that treated me as an equal – with respect and as a full and complicated human being with dignity – not some label. For the first time I felt like I was being defined not by my emotions or sexuality but just by my humanity alone. That meant so much to me. I continue to struggle with sin just as all men do, but I wanted to say that I am grateful for a Church and an Archbishop that, through Christ, has treated me with dignity and has taught me to look beyond myself – to Jesus.

Thank you,

Ben

I enjoyed reading your post this week following the US Bishops’ Conference Meeting and the beautiful photographs of the Basilica of the Assumption in Baltimore.

Graham Lake
London, England